Do you know every business problem is a relationship problem and every relationship problem is somewhere a trust problem?

Don’t create trust be trustworthy !

Few days back while talking to coaches over the mentoring session we went deep into “Creating Trust” as a topic and what transpired from there was quite insightful. Sharing some of those perspectives in Business and Leadership context.

Before we move forward let’s see how is Trust largely defined:

trust trʌst/ noun 1. Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something. “relations have to be built on trust” synonyms: confidence, belief, faith, freedom from suspicion/doubt, sureness, certainty, certitude, assurance, conviction, credence, reliance “a relationship built on mutual trust and respect”

 

Be it coaching conversation or a leadership conversation, the foundation of every conversation is trust in the relationship. The biggest learning that came out was:

Perception of trust and real trust are two different things!

You as a leader might think people trust you however that is not necessarily true. The leadership at modern workplaces is getting disruptive at unbelievable speed. If you are leading by the perception without knowing the gap, believe me you are in dark. Let’s see how:

• Whatever expectations you have with your team to create success is dying a slow death because they won’t act from their heart. They are just getting work done and not adding value, so their own creativity and ideas are locked in their mind somewhere waiting for a time/boss that can unlock it.
• Whatever you are saying is not heard fully! Your conversations with them are heard(received) but not listened (not conceived)! There is a huge difference. So, all the passion and hard work that you are bringing is getting diluted because they don’t trust you from their mind and heart to be able to deliver with the same passion.
• All your efforts towards engaging and motivating them is down the drain as every effort is taken as a tactic versus a genuine gesture.
• Your investment on people development is sheer waste as people need more trust before more development.

 

The result is half baked creativity and passion, completed tasks versus goals, completed projects verses highly energetic team with next vision.

So what’s the solution?

Well the solution is bridging the trust gap to unlock potential, creativity, innovation and value to ensure that each one of your team member brings as much passion and value as you think they can. Several researches (links below) proves how Trust is the single most component that can build high performing teams, strong relationships and big businesses.

Here is a small activity that can help you gather some evidence about the trust people have in you:

Think about each and every individual of your team and draw a scale of 0 to 10 for each individual on a paper. If 0 is no trust at all and 10 is maximum trust.

For each of your team member decide a rating. E.g. let’s say Laxman is in your team and you think your perception of his trust on you is 8 (closer to the ideal trust number 10).

Similarly write trust ratings for each of your team member and keep it confidential with you.

Now in your next team hurdle, ask every team member to do the same activity for each and everyone including you, they can keep their names confidential that’s not that important. Tell them only when each of us know the delta we can work on it.

Now, have a look at the trust ratings they have given you and compare it to the ones you have perceived. Even if you don’t know who gave what you have deltas available. You will be able to draw some insights from this activity. Leverage some crucial story of trust that impacts everyone. Stories are the best way to stir emotions.

Once you have finished this exercise, below are some questions for your reflection:

1. Is it trust or rapport that’s running your relationship with each of them?
2. What helps build trust with you as an Individual?
3. How much do you trust yourself as a leader in your life? (scale 0-10)
4. What do you need to “let go” in order to FULLY trust yourself as a leader?
5. What are you bringing to your team member that no one is bringing in his career?
6. What environment do you create around you all the time?

Needless to say that conducting such exercises in your team itself is a testimony of willingness to be vulnerable, the very requirement of disruptive leadership in today’s environment. Workplaces are demanding more and more attention from the leaders to show up authentically to be able to create an open environment for creativity,feedback and innovation.

What happens when trust is high in the relationships

• The team brings deep/vulnerable topics to the conversations or get there fast during the conversation.
• The conversations would be more about “What’s happening inside me versus What’s happening to me” (BEING Versus DOING)
• Team members will be less guarded and share more about feelings versus actions/solution
• Team will automatically bring solutions because they trust you as a leader and believe in you as a human being
• The team will present less excuses and more execution.

 

Examples of Trust

• A dying patient giving his life in hands of a qualified doctor.
• A child trusting the mother in the womb and outside for each and every step.
• Your family sitting next to you in the car you are driving, trusting that you won’t hit the car.
• You trusting your employer/client to pay the salary/fee at the end of the month.
• You trusting your teachers for their guidance.

It’s not about the nature of the relationship in above examples, it’s all about the trust you have been able to create with them. The emotions/concern and your trust on yourself determines your side of the equation, and that’s the only equation you can control really.

What’s trust made up of?

• Deep empathy
• Compassion
• Selflessness
• Authenticity

So tell us what role is TRUST playing in your life and relationships?

Trust is as much in need as the air that we breathe or the water that we drink !

More perspectives on Trust:

While I was writing this article, I came across a very interesting researches on trust and I thought it would be good to share it with you!

• Do you know that Absence of trust is the first dysfunction of any team?
• Speed of trust.. the book that gives you a prescription to build trust.
• How to build and re-build trust
• What we don’t understand about trust